To: The Church of St. Dino the Avenger.
Battle Creek, Michigan.
We write this on behalf of our client, Mr. Stephen Thomas, owner and proprietor of Funland Amusement Park. While Mr. Thomas is complimented by the enthusiasm with which your group enjoyed his park, a significant amount of damage appears to have been incurred during the course of your recent visit. For numerous instances of grafitti, the cost of animal catchers called in to catch twelve loose ferrets, repairs to a snow cone machine, replacement of approximately sixty purple dinosaur toys painted beige, and several other damages which are itemized below a bill has been enclosed. This letter has been sent as a courtesy, if the enclosed bill is not payed legal action will be taken. Also, Mr. Thomas has expressed willingness to substantially lower the amount you owe him upon the immediate return of his ice cream stand and the park employee who was running it.
Robert Kidwell, Esq.