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Jihad against Barney

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From the Desk of the AC [23 Oct 2002|02:34pm]

puppeteer
[ mood | creative ]

TO: ALL JPV MEMBERS

FROM: AC

SUBJECT: Events for the week of 10/28

This week will be starting our All Hallow's Eve celebration. We will be showing the Director's Cuts of the Evil Dead trilogy, the Living Dead trilogy, and all of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. Also, you'll get to catch some of Pittsburgh's very own George Romero's lesser-known flicks. These will be shown in the Mage's Lounge in the Temporary Residence hall.

Also, I'd like to remind all members that the JPV thoroughly disapproves of black magic, especially demon-summoning or anything involving the dead. I realize that this is the season, but it's still no excuse.

Lastly, if any illusionists or mages who can handle illusions are available the next two weekends, we will be holding our first annual Haunted House for the local children. Participation is encouraged, and will go towards a vacation day or two depending on volunteered time. All the benefits go to local charities.

Happy Halloween!

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[18 Oct 2001|12:26pm]

feralscot
To: Admiral Yearnshaw
From: Grand Admiral Felton, C-in-C
Re: Internal memo from Commodore Jensen

Thank you Admiral, it does appear that we are in need of stricter security measures on the commnet. And Mister t'Kharn, since you are undoubtedly viewing this, please report to my office immediately regarding a "discussion" on why you happen to be poking through my inbox.
2 comments|post comment

[jry] [09 Oct 2001|10:41am]

fb
To: Grand Admiral Felton
From: Admiral Yearnshaw, Intelligence Division
Re: Internal memo from Commodore Jensen

For the record, I am NOT a Lyran agent. Really, guy with an imagination like that should be in r&d.

Also, tomorrow I'll look into increasing security on the internal communications network.
1 comment|post comment

[jry] TRES Corps Internal Memorandum [02 Oct 2001|12:43am]

fb
CLASSIFIED - Eyes only: Grand Admiral Felton

From: Commodore Marcus Jensen, head of Personnel
Re: Admiral Yearnshaw

Outwardly, little or nothing has changed since the admiral was last an officer of the Corps. As you know, shortly after he retired at the conclusion of Operation Pacifica, Admiral Yearnshaw dissappeared completely, all Jihad efforts to locate and track him failed, and the numerous reports of his death were obviously in error. I believe that something happened to him in this time, as he shows signs of possessing significant extranormal power. This power manifested several times in my interview with him (which is the source of all of my information and supposition, he refused a new medical examination), and he may not be fully in control of it. When he became angry (first at the mention of the deceased Lt. Comm. Ford and then when asked about his work with GA Marburger) a green-colored light flashed through his eyes and even once seemed to discharge out of the corners. When I allowed him to become impatient he at one point drummed his fingers against the table eventually the sound changed, became louder and more hollow, and a similar green engergetic dischange trailed from his fingertips. Though I detected no significantly unusual mental activity when these manifestations occurred, that their origin lies in some facet of magic I think is still a strong possibility, as the only descriptions of similar phenomena I can find come from very old myths of powerful human magi.

Though I had never made his personal aquaintance during his original tenure with the Corps, what I have read from the original personnel file and heard from those who did know him contradicts what I observed. He seems impatient, quick to anger, emotionally cold and distant, and I am almost certain he harbors any number of significant secrets that none of my empathic senses could begin to fathom.

There is a rumor about him going around Admiral, one which you perhaps know the truth of, that I will include in my closing remark. I have heard that when he returned he brought several Lyran artifacts in various conditions with him, and if this is true those artifcats cannot be ignored as a possible origin for whatever new power he has, which in turn mean that he could be very dangerous to us. I advise caution in reinstating him.
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MadForry visits the base Psychiatrist [21 Aug 2001|12:04pm]

madforry
I knocked on the door of the base's psychiatrist.

"Come in Forrest..." How did they know it was me? I opened the door, and lay on the couch. I couldn't get comfortable.

"You are troubled by something that you can't place, but it has been with you since you came here."

"Well, it did start when I first came to Blanca Mountain..."

I continued for over an hour. Finally, the psych said, "Your troubles are just beginning..."

It was Damocles.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!"
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ATTN: [09 Jul 2001|12:06pm]

shadur
From: Shadur t'Kharn <shadur@treshq.jihad.net>
To: VRHQ Central AI Minerva <min@vrhq.jihad.net>,TCSS Ithaca majordomo AI Dan Wood <dwood@ithaca.tres.jihad.net>
Cc: His Supreme Fnordishness <mrfnord@vrhq.jihad.net>

Minerva, Dan: While the both of you are highly valued members of your respective organisations, and no one would deny that you deserve as much R&R as any other entity in the Jihad, I do have to ask you to inform us next time you two decide to crack into the control system of a random Mundanian factory to play a game of Robo-Rally with real 'bots. That way we can get a spin team in place beforehand and cover up or explain away any inconsistencies you leave behind, as well as reimburse damages incurred.

As it is, we had to promise the owners of the General Motors manufacturing plant that our software company will write a completely new and improved control system for their entire plant at no cost. Guess who will be assigned to the task?

Dismissed,

Shadur t'Kharn.

P.S. I've been asked to unofficially relay three separate requests if you'll open the next game to non-AI contestants as well.

P.P.S. If you do, save a slot for me, 'k? ^_^
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Legal notice. [07 Jul 2001|05:36pm]

fb
From: Forrest and Kidwell, Attourneys at Law.
Detroit, Michigan.

To: The Church of St. Dino the Avenger.
Battle Creek, Michigan.


Dear Sirs,
We write this on behalf of our client, Mr. Stephen Thomas, owner and proprietor of Funland Amusement Park. While Mr. Thomas is complimented by the enthusiasm with which your group enjoyed his park, a significant amount of damage appears to have been incurred during the course of your recent visit. For numerous instances of grafitti, the cost of animal catchers called in to catch twelve loose ferrets, repairs to a snow cone machine, replacement of approximately sixty purple dinosaur toys painted beige, and several other damages which are itemized below a bill has been enclosed. This letter has been sent as a courtesy, if the enclosed bill is not payed legal action will be taken. Also, Mr. Thomas has expressed willingness to substantially lower the amount you owe him upon the immediate return of his ice cream stand and the park employee who was running it.


Thank you,
Robert Kidwell, Esq.
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JPV - ARCH CHANCELLOR'S LOG - CONFIDENTIAL [06 Jul 2001|11:09pm]

puppeteer
7.6.2001

- Watched the game between the Templars and the VR guys today. Go Templars!

- NOTE: Remember to get an apprentice to board up the (bottomless?) pit burned open by "Simple Fireballs 101."

- NOTE: Remember to get janitorial to place a "DANGER: IMMINENT DEATH" sign in the meantime.

- Still having trouble attaching that levitation spell to organics. Need to practice a bit more control on this one. Obviously, living beings have more resistance than an inanimate object, but that doesn't explain the problem. Will have to venture into the library... the closet that it is right now... bah.

-NOTE: It's your turn to buy the beer for the weekly BTech outing. Make sure you have enough $$. ...and this time, don't let any of the MAULers know, dammit.

- IMPORTANT: Don't forget to click the right option this time. This needs to go to the JPV archives, not broadcast across the JNet again, idiot!
2 comments|post comment

From the Desk of the Grand Admiral [06 Jul 2001|09:59pm]

feralscot
From: darkside@tres.jihad.net
To: everyone@tres.jihad.net
Subject: A few minor announcements...
-------------------------

First off, I'd like to congratulate the Templars on their utter trouncing of the VRDET Rangers during tonight's game. It was by no means a small victory, but rest assured they'll be back with a vengeance.

Our local JPV representatives would like me to convey their apologies for tomorrow's explosion in the Arcana Research Lab. They assure us that the temporal anomaly will be resolved shortly before it begins.

After nearly six months of renovation, tomorrow there will be an all day open house in the new TRES Corps Academy tower. Food and refreshments will be served, and all visitors receive a free smiley balloon.

The motor pool staff would like to know who took Humvee #126 for a joyride, and why it came back detailed with a neon paisley paint job.

The annual Marksmanship Competition is upon us once again, and will be held Sunday afternoon on the firing range. The Field Marshall assures us that this year, the targets will not burn up or explode on impact.

The Chi Squad PR Department will be showing a bootleg of "Evolution" in the enlisted mess at 2100 hours, as an example of "How Not to Operate In Mundania." Popcorn and soda will be available.

That is all.

--Grand Admiral Felton
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The j-link message board... [05 Jul 2001|03:16pm]

tanesmuti
[Logged in as mahtash.a]
[You are reading TRES.General]
      - - -

posted 2001.07.05 - 1508
-------------------------------------------

Has anyone heard anything about the TRES x-mas party?


LCDR Mahtash
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[jry] *Character being used will go here in brackets [05 Jul 2001|05:14pm]

fb
"Good morning, Admiral."

"I told you not to call me that, Max. Time."

"1430."

"Damn. What's up for today?"

"Accessing file, Agenda:
1530: Duty shift begins, morning briefing.
1600: Meeting with Captain Houben re: Finalization of prototype mk2 X-Rilfe.
1700: Weekly senior officers' meeting, all admirals mandatory attendance.
1930: Briefing with JPV liason re: Magical activity in the southwest.
2015: Lunch
2130: Official evaluation in Corps combat simulator
2300: Begin security audit of deep storage level with Commodore Riley
0100: East Asia activity briefing
0200: Duty shift ends."

"Great, full day. Listen, cover for me at the senior officers' meeting, I need some lab time. Then schedule a shuttle to Alamosa at 0230, I need to see the Doc, and that should give DS enough time to yell at me a bit for missing the meeting."

"Acknowledged."
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Somebody is a big chicken... [05 Jul 2001|01:18pm]
jihadiix
From: parkerhg@vrdet.jihad.net
"Technician Parker, Hayley G."
To: robertsm@vrdet.jihad.net
"Technician Roberts, M."
Subj: Lights in the lab
----------------------------------------------

Roberts,

For the absolute last time, you cannot leave every light on Level 3 turned on at night. We're supposed to be conserving energy. If you're scared of the dark, get a flashlight! I'm tired of having to follow you around, flipping switches. If you don't stop, I'll program MINERVA to automatically turn off any lights you try to turn on.

-
Parker
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make stuff 'splode night [04 Jul 2001|12:24pm]

tanesmuti
MEMO



To: peneater
CC:
From: ari
Subj: pyrotechnotics... um, those explody things?
--

Are you going to be here tonite? Or are you going to hop back to SanF to watch them?

You know, we could hop to D.C., watch there and then keep hopping back this way...

Let me know at lunch, ok?

-Ari
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Mmmm... Field rations... [01 Jul 2001|01:28am]
jihadiix
From: parkerhg@vrdet.jihad.net,
"Technician Parker, Hayley G."
To: allhands@vrdet.jihad.net "VR-wide List"
Subj: Request for volunteers
----------------------------------------------
I'm looking for someone to taste-test a new and improved field ration.

If you don't like the ones we have, now's a good time to provide input on the ones that will replace them.

Testing to be conducted Monday, 9th July, at the following times:

0700 - breakfast variety
1200 - lunch variety
1700 - dinner variety

There will be another test on Tuesday, 10th July at 1500 of all varieties for anyone who cannot make one of the first tests and for the curious.

Thank you in advance for your input and have a great VR day!

v/r,
Tech. Parker
1 comment|post comment

[ADMIN] JihadIC [30 Jun 2001|11:06pm]

katster
Welcome to JihadIC...

My hopes is that this basically becomes a fun little place for Jihaddi to flesh out their characters and practice their writing skills. But to be able to do that, we need some basic rules around here.

1. All posts, with the exception of admin posts (marked with [ADMIN]) and suggestion posts (marked [IDEA]) should be in character. Only the admins (myself and Ari at the moment) are able to use the admin mark.

2. If you're posting to a secondary or NPC character (which is encouraged, NPCs need fleshing out too), mark the subject line so we know and don't criticise you for straying way off your character mark. Oh yeah, and primary character is the character you have in JU at the moment.

3. Feel free to comment on other people's depictions. You don't necesarily have to be IC in the comments.

Otherwise, I think we don't need much else in the way of rules.


-kat
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