From the Desk of the AC



SUBJECT: Events for the week of 10/28

This week will be starting our All Hallow's Eve celebration. We will be showing the Director's Cuts of the Evil Dead trilogy, the Living Dead trilogy, and all of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. Also, you'll get to catch some of Pittsburgh's very own George Romero's lesser-known flicks. These will be shown in the Mage's Lounge in the Temporary Residence hall.

Also, I'd like to remind all members that the JPV thoroughly disapproves of black magic, especially demon-summoning or anything involving the dead. I realize that this is the season, but it's still no excuse.

Lastly, if any illusionists or mages who can handle illusions are available the next two weekends, we will be holding our first annual Haunted House for the local children. Participation is encouraged, and will go towards a vacation day or two depending on volunteered time. All the benefits go to local charities.

Happy Halloween!
  • Current Music
    Squirrel Nut Zippers - The Ghost of Stephen Foster

(no subject)

To: Admiral Yearnshaw
From: Grand Admiral Felton, C-in-C
Re: Internal memo from Commodore Jensen

Thank you Admiral, it does appear that we are in need of stricter security measures on the commnet. And Mister t'Kharn, since you are undoubtedly viewing this, please report to my office immediately regarding a "discussion" on why you happen to be poking through my inbox.
  • fb


To: Grand Admiral Felton
From: Admiral Yearnshaw, Intelligence Division
Re: Internal memo from Commodore Jensen

For the record, I am NOT a Lyran agent. Really, guy with an imagination like that should be in r&d.

Also, tomorrow I'll look into increasing security on the internal communications network.
  • fb

[jry] TRES Corps Internal Memorandum

CLASSIFIED - Eyes only: Grand Admiral Felton

From: Commodore Marcus Jensen, head of Personnel
Re: Admiral Yearnshaw

Outwardly, little or nothing has changed since the admiral was last an officer of the Corps. As you know, shortly after he retired at the conclusion of Operation Pacifica, Admiral Yearnshaw dissappeared completely, all Jihad efforts to locate and track him failed, and the numerous reports of his death were obviously in error. I believe that something happened to him in this time, as he shows signs of possessing significant extranormal power. This power manifested several times in my interview with him (which is the source of all of my information and supposition, he refused a new medical examination), and he may not be fully in control of it. When he became angry (first at the mention of the deceased Lt. Comm. Ford and then when asked about his work with GA Marburger) a green-colored light flashed through his eyes and even once seemed to discharge out of the corners. When I allowed him to become impatient he at one point drummed his fingers against the table eventually the sound changed, became louder and more hollow, and a similar green engergetic dischange trailed from his fingertips. Though I detected no significantly unusual mental activity when these manifestations occurred, that their origin lies in some facet of magic I think is still a strong possibility, as the only descriptions of similar phenomena I can find come from very old myths of powerful human magi.

Though I had never made his personal aquaintance during his original tenure with the Corps, what I have read from the original personnel file and heard from those who did know him contradicts what I observed. He seems impatient, quick to anger, emotionally cold and distant, and I am almost certain he harbors any number of significant secrets that none of my empathic senses could begin to fathom.

There is a rumor about him going around Admiral, one which you perhaps know the truth of, that I will include in my closing remark. I have heard that when he returned he brought several Lyran artifacts in various conditions with him, and if this is true those artifcats cannot be ignored as a possible origin for whatever new power he has, which in turn mean that he could be very dangerous to us. I advise caution in reinstating him.
Animated Me?

MadForry visits the base Psychiatrist

I knocked on the door of the base's psychiatrist.

"Come in Forrest..." How did they know it was me? I opened the door, and lay on the couch. I couldn't get comfortable.

"You are troubled by something that you can't place, but it has been with you since you came here."

"Well, it did start when I first came to Blanca Mountain..."

I continued for over an hour. Finally, the psych said, "Your troubles are just beginning..."

It was Damocles.

  • shadur


From: Shadur t'Kharn <shadur@treshq.jihad.net>
To: VRHQ Central AI Minerva <min@vrhq.jihad.net>,TCSS Ithaca majordomo AI Dan Wood <dwood@ithaca.tres.jihad.net>
Cc: His Supreme Fnordishness <mrfnord@vrhq.jihad.net>

Minerva, Dan: While the both of you are highly valued members of your respective organisations, and no one would deny that you deserve as much R&R as any other entity in the Jihad, I do have to ask you to inform us next time you two decide to crack into the control system of a random Mundanian factory to play a game of Robo-Rally with real 'bots. That way we can get a spin team in place beforehand and cover up or explain away any inconsistencies you leave behind, as well as reimburse damages incurred.

As it is, we had to promise the owners of the General Motors manufacturing plant that our software company will write a completely new and improved control system for their entire plant at no cost. Guess who will be assigned to the task?


Shadur t'Kharn.

P.S. I've been asked to unofficially relay three separate requests if you'll open the next game to non-AI contestants as well.

P.P.S. If you do, save a slot for me, 'k? ^_^
  • fb

Legal notice.

From: Forrest and Kidwell, Attourneys at Law.
Detroit, Michigan.

To: The Church of St. Dino the Avenger.
Battle Creek, Michigan.

Dear Sirs,
We write this on behalf of our client, Mr. Stephen Thomas, owner and proprietor of Funland Amusement Park. While Mr. Thomas is complimented by the enthusiasm with which your group enjoyed his park, a significant amount of damage appears to have been incurred during the course of your recent visit. For numerous instances of grafitti, the cost of animal catchers called in to catch twelve loose ferrets, repairs to a snow cone machine, replacement of approximately sixty purple dinosaur toys painted beige, and several other damages which are itemized below a bill has been enclosed. This letter has been sent as a courtesy, if the enclosed bill is not payed legal action will be taken. Also, Mr. Thomas has expressed willingness to substantially lower the amount you owe him upon the immediate return of his ice cream stand and the park employee who was running it.

Thank you,
Robert Kidwell, Esq.



- Watched the game between the Templars and the VR guys today. Go Templars!

- NOTE: Remember to get an apprentice to board up the (bottomless?) pit burned open by "Simple Fireballs 101."

- NOTE: Remember to get janitorial to place a "DANGER: IMMINENT DEATH" sign in the meantime.

- Still having trouble attaching that levitation spell to organics. Need to practice a bit more control on this one. Obviously, living beings have more resistance than an inanimate object, but that doesn't explain the problem. Will have to venture into the library... the closet that it is right now... bah.

-NOTE: It's your turn to buy the beer for the weekly BTech outing. Make sure you have enough $$. ...and this time, don't let any of the MAULers know, dammit.

- IMPORTANT: Don't forget to click the right option this time. This needs to go to the JPV archives, not broadcast across the JNet again, idiot!

From the Desk of the Grand Admiral

From: darkside@tres.jihad.net
To: everyone@tres.jihad.net
Subject: A few minor announcements...

First off, I'd like to congratulate the Templars on their utter trouncing of the VRDET Rangers during tonight's game. It was by no means a small victory, but rest assured they'll be back with a vengeance.

Our local JPV representatives would like me to convey their apologies for tomorrow's explosion in the Arcana Research Lab. They assure us that the temporal anomaly will be resolved shortly before it begins.

After nearly six months of renovation, tomorrow there will be an all day open house in the new TRES Corps Academy tower. Food and refreshments will be served, and all visitors receive a free smiley balloon.

The motor pool staff would like to know who took Humvee #126 for a joyride, and why it came back detailed with a neon paisley paint job.

The annual Marksmanship Competition is upon us once again, and will be held Sunday afternoon on the firing range. The Field Marshall assures us that this year, the targets will not burn up or explode on impact.

The Chi Squad PR Department will be showing a bootleg of "Evolution" in the enlisted mess at 2100 hours, as an example of "How Not to Operate In Mundania." Popcorn and soda will be available.

That is all.

--Grand Admiral Felton